100%. And setting the goal for it to never happen again is silly. Setting the goal to get better at it is better. We can see progress and get a sense of achievement from that which will motivate us to keep going.
I love when I'm in a good head space and I find myself catching shitty thoughts and dealing with them in a healthy manner. Feels like I'm on top of my shit.
“I’ve had the time to write because I can see my screen time has skyrocketed. Time I could have spent writing and reminds me I’m not actually time-poor. I’m just energy-poor, and I procrastinate when I’m tired.”
Can’t remember where I read it, and I’m paraphrasing here, but procrastination comes from avoiding difficult emotions.
My screen time went up 68% last week while my family was away. I used to think it was because I was bored, but that’s not the case.
I had plenty of other things I could have been doing, but I realise now I was just trying to distract myself from the feeling of missing my family and feeling lonely.
I’ve been feeling similar at the moment and been about how slow so smooth, smooth is fast. Was going to write about it today!
"I realise now I was just trying to distract myself" - good honesty mate and I've been thinking a lot about the "what's slow is smooth, and what's smooth is fast" comment lately. Not sure completely smooth is fastest, because no bumps means no lessons learned!
I think holistically you are right, but I think sometimes the best lessons to learn are what not to do and how to prevent bad things reoccurring.
I guess I was more coming from a productivity angle. I think when I'm able to adapt that mindset to getting shit done, smooth is fast means going slow enough to do things right the first time. I find when I reflect after trying to slow done to the things done, often I get things done quicker because I'm not frantically trying to do everything at once. I do things right the first time when I slow down, ignore everything else going on around me and try to focus entirely on the task at hand. When I look back at the end of the day I have achieved more, to a higher standard, with less time fixing fuck ups.
I think it's easier to get in a flow this way too and build momentum. It's horses for courses , of course, but I've found that where I'm able to actually slow down, breath and focus I get much more done in the time allocated.
I don't know I feel you gotta do what you gotta do, so if scrolling helps you regulate then scroll away. You'll come back when you're feeling up to it.
But isn't "scrolling" just avoidance from the real problem? Not saying we should never do it, but surely we should be stopping it as soon as we catch ourselves slipping into that pattern
My understanding is scrolling is our attempt to regulate ourselves, so not necessarily a problem avoidance behaviour but more a coping behaviour. I think it's good to be aware of the habit, but it's not necessarily something we should beat ourselves up about.
Ditch the guilt, Ben. The word "should" is hard to live up to and, frankly, unnecessary in daily life. Try replacing it with "could" and see if that changes the empowerment perspective. So "I should write for my paying subscribers" becomes "I could write..."
And anyway, are they banging on the door for an article? Or are they happy to go along with the cadence of your own journey, and to simply be a part of it? I'd be willing to bet it's the latter.
Cheers Sarah. I agree re ditching the guilt (waste of energy) and no they aren't banging my door down and agree it's the latter. Need to stop pressuring myself to pick up my cadence and just let it happen naturally.
Your self awareness is at levels I could only dream of, love ya Ben interesting observation regarding screen time, I often find screen time goes up when I procrastinate.
Great read and cracking self awareness. I like to revisit my ‘why’ often, but at the same time, I think it’s important to revisit how far we’ve come.
It might feel overwhelming now, but you’re far improved from the Ben that started writing 3 years ago.
It doesn’t mean you don’t need to reassess, but give yourself a pat on the back while you do.
Cheers mate and each time I get "overwhelmed" it's less severe. A sure sign I'm making progress and spotting the warning signs earlier.
100%. And setting the goal for it to never happen again is silly. Setting the goal to get better at it is better. We can see progress and get a sense of achievement from that which will motivate us to keep going.
I love when I'm in a good head space and I find myself catching shitty thoughts and dealing with them in a healthy manner. Feels like I'm on top of my shit.
“I’ve had the time to write because I can see my screen time has skyrocketed. Time I could have spent writing and reminds me I’m not actually time-poor. I’m just energy-poor, and I procrastinate when I’m tired.”
Can’t remember where I read it, and I’m paraphrasing here, but procrastination comes from avoiding difficult emotions.
My screen time went up 68% last week while my family was away. I used to think it was because I was bored, but that’s not the case.
I had plenty of other things I could have been doing, but I realise now I was just trying to distract myself from the feeling of missing my family and feeling lonely.
I’ve been feeling similar at the moment and been about how slow so smooth, smooth is fast. Was going to write about it today!
"I realise now I was just trying to distract myself" - good honesty mate and I've been thinking a lot about the "what's slow is smooth, and what's smooth is fast" comment lately. Not sure completely smooth is fastest, because no bumps means no lessons learned!
I guess it depends on the application.
I think holistically you are right, but I think sometimes the best lessons to learn are what not to do and how to prevent bad things reoccurring.
I guess I was more coming from a productivity angle. I think when I'm able to adapt that mindset to getting shit done, smooth is fast means going slow enough to do things right the first time. I find when I reflect after trying to slow done to the things done, often I get things done quicker because I'm not frantically trying to do everything at once. I do things right the first time when I slow down, ignore everything else going on around me and try to focus entirely on the task at hand. When I look back at the end of the day I have achieved more, to a higher standard, with less time fixing fuck ups.
I think it's easier to get in a flow this way too and build momentum. It's horses for courses , of course, but I've found that where I'm able to actually slow down, breath and focus I get much more done in the time allocated.
Flow and focus are so important to getting stuff done, yet we allow emails, twitter etc to interrupt us. Perhaps because we want to be interrupted?
Yeah I think susceptibility to distraction is highly dependant on volume/quality of sleep and our current emotional state.
I was going to say similar Sam. I think we both saw the same post from the Holostic Psychologist. https://www.instagram.com/p/CpYNLM2PAxU/?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=
I don't know I feel you gotta do what you gotta do, so if scrolling helps you regulate then scroll away. You'll come back when you're feeling up to it.
But isn't "scrolling" just avoidance from the real problem? Not saying we should never do it, but surely we should be stopping it as soon as we catch ourselves slipping into that pattern
My understanding is scrolling is our attempt to regulate ourselves, so not necessarily a problem avoidance behaviour but more a coping behaviour. I think it's good to be aware of the habit, but it's not necessarily something we should beat ourselves up about.
What Matt said! 🙌🙌
Give yourself some extra love and kindness when the wheels are falling off and reaching out means we can support you to put them back on 💪🥰.
Ditch the guilt, Ben. The word "should" is hard to live up to and, frankly, unnecessary in daily life. Try replacing it with "could" and see if that changes the empowerment perspective. So "I should write for my paying subscribers" becomes "I could write..."
And anyway, are they banging on the door for an article? Or are they happy to go along with the cadence of your own journey, and to simply be a part of it? I'd be willing to bet it's the latter.
Cheers Sarah. I agree re ditching the guilt (waste of energy) and no they aren't banging my door down and agree it's the latter. Need to stop pressuring myself to pick up my cadence and just let it happen naturally.
Same here - too much busyness for me leads to feeling frazzled.
Luckily, being self-employed means I can choose how much to take on (as long as I'm happy to miss out on some money from time to time 😀).
Going down to 3 days at Kapers sounds like a good move - gives you some headspace!
And as others have already commented, good self-awareness - many people don't have that and will keep running on that hamster-wheel.
Take it easy mate!
Ben
Cheers Ben! Will do and I might be over your way for the brumbies-force game. Will keep you posted!
Sweet, let me know 👍
Your self awareness is at levels I could only dream of, love ya Ben interesting observation regarding screen time, I often find screen time goes up when I procrastinate.
You could have your self awareness at the same levels mate if you make it a priority. Love ya too mate. Why do you procrastinate?