Only my opinion, but yes, I think you have probably spread yourself too thin.
I never played sport at a high level like you did, but i was good enough at it that on occasion people would mention it or say something that made me realise that it was "my thing that i was good at". Ever since, i have been chasing similar validation/recognition/success and almost entirely failed in finding it.
As a result, i have been perpetually chasing the new high tide mark, the new "my thing that i am good at. Going down many dead ends and beating down myself because of it.
My wife assures me that being a good dad is my current special skill, and she is right. But it is very hard to simplify my ambition sometimes. For your situation, maybe Instead of thousands/millions of people looking up to you a little bit, maybe the goal should be to have a small group of the most important people look up to you a lot? Family, friends, staff etc. The public eye is off you much more now than it was, maybe accept the reduced pressure and find your diversity and challenges in smaller details?
How do you figure out what you love to do without trying a variety of different things?
But how do you know you really like something until you've been able to spend a decent amount of time doing it?
How do you spend enough time doing something to be great at it without compromising trying other things your curious about?
This comment will help you in no way, haha. But at lest you know you are not alone in this way of thinking, I imagine it's pretty common. My advice, go with your gut and don't second guess anything.
Only you know how you feel and the fact that you’re already questioning if you are spreading yourself too thin, or a new/another job would spread yourself too thin, is already answering your question.
Only you can gauge how you feel at the time and that’s when, in my opinion, you should go with your gut, when your brain can’t make a decision.
Right now, not to worry about career progression for the next decade. We’ve worked hard for more than 15 years and got ourselves into a comfortable position, not well off by any means, but comfortable. My gut is telling me that time with Sonny is at a premium right now and I can worry about work when he starts being cool and doesn’t wanna hang out with me anymore.
It’s telling me to keep working on my sobriety, spend time with the community where I can and look to give back to that community where I can.
Telling me to chill for a while. I’ve moved around too much over the last 15 years and I need to chill and establish myself somewhere so w Evan feel settled.
It told me to buy our first house when people were saying Covid was gunna reduce the value of houses by half. It increased in value by 50%.
It’s told me I could handle being a dad when my brain was telling me I couldn’t. Another good call.
It told me to go to AA even though I was scared back in January, which has been terrific.
Interesting thoughts Ben. I’m also at a bit of a crossroads and looking towards the future with a portfolio career in mind.
I’d be curious to know what meaning you get from having so many different pies. I get the interest in many things but they might not need to be work-related. I am particularly looking for a portfolio career to give stability away from corporate restructuring and to own more of my time -> this for me is because I feel without this, I’ve got a lack of control. What’s your why? Is it to move the polar opposite of the feeling you had in your playing career? It’s a curious time for sure
My why is to “end the human energy crisis” and I’m trying to do that by helping people to recharge and feel great. Whether that’s coming to Running for Resilience for a run or to the pub to relax, everything is do is trying to make people feel better. What’s your why?
Thanks Ben. I’d say my why is to connect and make a ‘difference’. What that is, I don’t know. I’ve been driven by external validation from a young age and have only recently got to grips with being rather than doing -> in particular my young family gives me a lot of meaning. I’d like to think in the second half of my career I’d be privileged enough to be with people who struggle with what I’ve felt and make a small bit of difference
I can relate to this and I think sometimes things just work themselves out. When I started my massage career I was saying yes to almost every job to gain experience and exposure. For 7 seasons I worked at both the Brumbies and the Raiders and sometimes it was a juggle. Driving up and down the parkway from my base in Tuggeranong often going back to Tuggeranong to see another 1-2 patients at the end of the day. Then there was a clash of times between the two clubs for the first time and I had already committed to the Brumbies then COVID happened and after that the Raiders moved to their new digs and didn't need as many therapists. It was a good thing for me because realistically I couldn't juggle them all anymore. When I was approached by the RA physio, my first thought was, can I realistically fit this in. But I enjoyed the environment, there was flexibility for me to come in the days that suited me and now it's some of the only massage work I do.
I want to ask, why do you feel the need to replace your job at KPMG? Is the work you do at The Dock and R4R enough?
Pretty much! Pre covid I had thoughts of, I don't know how much longer I can keep juggling the two teams and then the time clashes happened, followed by covid and the decision was made for me. It wasn't even a case of having to choose one or the other, I just wanted to do both haha.
I think if 2 things part-time suits the lifestyle you want right now then that's great. Maybe doing two things allows you to spend more time with your girls. Maybe it's good enough while you figure out that one thing you want to do full on?
Perhaps you are spreading yourself too thin because you have difficulty in focusing with purpose. Perhaps you haven’t been taught to learn. Many haven’t.
Fully agree Ben. Even though having multiple things to do each week adds variety, it can be difficult to commit to all activities and perform them to the best of your ability.
Only my opinion, but yes, I think you have probably spread yourself too thin.
I never played sport at a high level like you did, but i was good enough at it that on occasion people would mention it or say something that made me realise that it was "my thing that i was good at". Ever since, i have been chasing similar validation/recognition/success and almost entirely failed in finding it.
As a result, i have been perpetually chasing the new high tide mark, the new "my thing that i am good at. Going down many dead ends and beating down myself because of it.
My wife assures me that being a good dad is my current special skill, and she is right. But it is very hard to simplify my ambition sometimes. For your situation, maybe Instead of thousands/millions of people looking up to you a little bit, maybe the goal should be to have a small group of the most important people look up to you a lot? Family, friends, staff etc. The public eye is off you much more now than it was, maybe accept the reduced pressure and find your diversity and challenges in smaller details?
Great advice thanks Ian!
It's bloody tricky, eh?
How do you figure out what you love to do without trying a variety of different things?
But how do you know you really like something until you've been able to spend a decent amount of time doing it?
How do you spend enough time doing something to be great at it without compromising trying other things your curious about?
This comment will help you in no way, haha. But at lest you know you are not alone in this way of thinking, I imagine it's pretty common. My advice, go with your gut and don't second guess anything.
Great questions and they do help. But are your gut answers for them?
What are my gut answers to them?
I dunno.
Only you know how you feel and the fact that you’re already questioning if you are spreading yourself too thin, or a new/another job would spread yourself too thin, is already answering your question.
Only you can gauge how you feel at the time and that’s when, in my opinion, you should go with your gut, when your brain can’t make a decision.
What are you gut answers for your life?
Right now, not to worry about career progression for the next decade. We’ve worked hard for more than 15 years and got ourselves into a comfortable position, not well off by any means, but comfortable. My gut is telling me that time with Sonny is at a premium right now and I can worry about work when he starts being cool and doesn’t wanna hang out with me anymore.
It’s telling me to keep working on my sobriety, spend time with the community where I can and look to give back to that community where I can.
Telling me to chill for a while. I’ve moved around too much over the last 15 years and I need to chill and establish myself somewhere so w Evan feel settled.
It told me to buy our first house when people were saying Covid was gunna reduce the value of houses by half. It increased in value by 50%.
It’s told me I could handle being a dad when my brain was telling me I couldn’t. Another good call.
It told me to go to AA even though I was scared back in January, which has been terrific.
Plenty of others I’m sure.
Interesting thoughts Ben. I’m also at a bit of a crossroads and looking towards the future with a portfolio career in mind.
I’d be curious to know what meaning you get from having so many different pies. I get the interest in many things but they might not need to be work-related. I am particularly looking for a portfolio career to give stability away from corporate restructuring and to own more of my time -> this for me is because I feel without this, I’ve got a lack of control. What’s your why? Is it to move the polar opposite of the feeling you had in your playing career? It’s a curious time for sure
My why is to “end the human energy crisis” and I’m trying to do that by helping people to recharge and feel great. Whether that’s coming to Running for Resilience for a run or to the pub to relax, everything is do is trying to make people feel better. What’s your why?
Thanks Ben. I’d say my why is to connect and make a ‘difference’. What that is, I don’t know. I’ve been driven by external validation from a young age and have only recently got to grips with being rather than doing -> in particular my young family gives me a lot of meaning. I’d like to think in the second half of my career I’d be privileged enough to be with people who struggle with what I’ve felt and make a small bit of difference
Good question. You need to understand the end / the answer before you start to learn/ focus and work forward with the answer in mind.
Start the end
Does that make sense ?
It does and how did you decide what your end is?
Hi Ben,
I can relate to this and I think sometimes things just work themselves out. When I started my massage career I was saying yes to almost every job to gain experience and exposure. For 7 seasons I worked at both the Brumbies and the Raiders and sometimes it was a juggle. Driving up and down the parkway from my base in Tuggeranong often going back to Tuggeranong to see another 1-2 patients at the end of the day. Then there was a clash of times between the two clubs for the first time and I had already committed to the Brumbies then COVID happened and after that the Raiders moved to their new digs and didn't need as many therapists. It was a good thing for me because realistically I couldn't juggle them all anymore. When I was approached by the RA physio, my first thought was, can I realistically fit this in. But I enjoyed the environment, there was flexibility for me to come in the days that suited me and now it's some of the only massage work I do.
I want to ask, why do you feel the need to replace your job at KPMG? Is the work you do at The Dock and R4R enough?
Thanks Clare. So you’re saying Covid might have forced your hand?
I’m not sure but feel torn between doing 2 things part time and 1 thing full on.
Pretty much! Pre covid I had thoughts of, I don't know how much longer I can keep juggling the two teams and then the time clashes happened, followed by covid and the decision was made for me. It wasn't even a case of having to choose one or the other, I just wanted to do both haha.
I think if 2 things part-time suits the lifestyle you want right now then that's great. Maybe doing two things allows you to spend more time with your girls. Maybe it's good enough while you figure out that one thing you want to do full on?
What do you think?
I don’t know. Feel very confused about what to do
Has something happened that resulted in this confusion for you?
It's totally okay to be confused about it and you didn't need to make a decision right now.
But sounds like you have lots of think about :)
Perhaps you are spreading yourself too thin because you have difficulty in focusing with purpose. Perhaps you haven’t been taught to learn. Many haven’t.
How do you focus with purpose?
Start with the end in mind
And work backwards?
No . Work with the end in mind . No the end before you begin.
I mean “start with the end in mind and work backwards from there”
Know the end not no the end . There’s another topic ! English!!!
Fully agree Ben. Even though having multiple things to do each week adds variety, it can be difficult to commit to all activities and perform them to the best of your ability.