A cautionary tale for anyone who's entire identity is tied to what they do for work.
Great read, Benny. Thank you for all you do, including sharing your story.
Our paths crossing has helped me immensely and I know your efforts are helping others.
Like exiting a military life, leaving a team environment is a hard thing to do.
I liken it to a turnstile that they don’t really prepare you for, or you don’t see.
Inside looking out is completely different to looking in after the transition.
Having goals, mates going through similar situations, and family around takes some of the burden.
Resilience is the ultimate here though as that sets up the discipline to get it done 👍🏻
When the ref sees a different picture to what you want them to, can be an impossible one to change no matter what.
That’s rugby, that’s life.
what I remember most (other than the result) about that series is all the injuries the wallabies suffered, especially in the 3rd game when there seemed to be many head clashes
Thanks Ben. Glad I subscribed to this and your truthful encounter. I was there but I could not remember your sinbinning. Remember George being knocked out and coming back on, and being stuck in a beer queue for 45 minutes with a gazillion singing red shirts. I called that test match the British Lines tour. What an awful night all round in the context of a a game of rugby. Memorable night in the context of life.
Nice read, thanks Ben. In his book, Robbie Deans mentions some issues with the last game, including Horwill having a bad leg and hiding it from the medicos, some issues with the O'Connor experiment at flyhalf and the post game attitude of the team, more concerned about cab charges than the team performance. He also mentioned the intrigue with Pulver, who refused to confirm his coaching future and then sacked him post game. A really interesting insight into team dynamics where one or two thing going on can undermine the whole team.
Great share Ben!
Not only does this shed light to other athletes, but hopefully to how fans treat athletes and to not be so hard on them when they make mistakes or don't perform well. We all have good and bad days but sometimes I like fans forget this and are extremely unforgiving.
Ben, as usual you are insightful and helpful in many ways. I love my rugby and I remember that game well. I also love my cycling and this week I started reading a behind the scenes narrative about the Tour de France, a sport and an event that takes commitment, focus and pain to new levels. I have been to many Tour de France editions and other professional races around Europe, but with the Tour de France especially it is hard to close. Other races are much more accessible, but the Tour de France is the race that the world knows about. There is one chapter in the book that made me think of you, but I think the whole book will resonate with you. I'll send you some excerpts. Its Pain and Privilege.
Bad and mean Breen machine with the words of wisdom.
It’s not up to us to decide what is and isn’t traumatic to anyone else. Anyone who tried can get in the bin.
The trauma will always be relative to how seriously we take certain things and how much they mean to us. Playing for your country against the lions meant a lot to you. I’d fuckin’ hope so, too.
Love the message about not stacking all the eggs of pride in one basket.
Distribute them around so it can’t all be taken from you at the same time. Kind of like safeguarding yourself.
Love your work Dez!
Good on you, Ben - you have a really important message and there’s no doubt others need to hear it. Also no doubt that they will benefit from it. Speaking your truth publicly is a brave and noble thing to do. I know how much it helps to open channels of communication and support. It is inspirational.
Thanks for all that you’re giving to the community, especially the rugby community.
Totally get it, being abducted by aliens left a traumatic effect on me along with several near death experiences.