For what little it may be worth, I really needed to read this! Your definition of 'resilience' really resonates. Instead of looking at the good, we pile on ourselves about what we're not doing well. If you're me, the inner critic then has a field day in cutting me down further. Here's a positive for you - today your words had an impact and made a difference.
Thanks Kim! Yeah, I tried to look at the good and think I was unable to feel any happiness from them because I was just too overwhelmed. But writing yesterday's blog and reading your comment is making me feel much much better. Thanks again!
Your former boss sounds like my former coach who always said: "When you lose, you rarely played as bad as you think, and when you win, you rarely played as good as you think".
Not sure why this is, other than we are just poor judges of our own performance because we usually only use emotions and how we feel as the yard stick for evaluating how we went.
Firstly, congrats Breeny on thoroughly deserved recognition of the work you do. Knowing you, the framed piece of paper will mean very little to you, and recognition like this is not your why, nor will it ever become so. But as some prick on the internet said I hope you can take some pride in those wins. It's good to be recognised even if it's not by the intended target.
I also want to echo Breen'y sentiment. Recognition is not all the same. It holds a different amount of weight depending on the source. You've helped me a lot and continue to motivate and inspire me, so when you say a good job it means a bit more. So thanks for the kind words. You needn't thank me though, you've done a lot to me help me, whether you realise it or not.
"I feel like a massive hypocrite talking about it while my battery is flat."- Mate, this is not hypocritical, this is perfect! Lean the fuck into this! You know that you are low on energy because you've implemented a system where you can identify when and why you are so. This literally is Energy Management. A perfect opportunity to walk in and say, "this might not be what you're expecting to hear, but today I don't feel like I have much energy. This is why, this is how I have identified it. However, this, and this is what I'm going to do, in an effort to prevent it from happening again or to minimise the impact similar circumstances in the future will have on me".
Someone who bounces into a room full of beans crapping on about Energy Management isn't believable. People want to hear shit like this from others they can relate to. Other people with real-life dramas. Not some annoying bloke who talks fast and just cruises around telling people what to do in regards to energy. They want to hear from people with lived experience. I'm a regular guy, with a young family, a working wife, and a few things on the go all at once like most of you guys. These are the tools I use to know when I have the energy to do more, or when I have to slow down and renergise". If they leave and implement one of the five (for example) tools you have shared, that's a win.
Anyway, not telling ya what to do, but I think it's a perfect opportunity to lean right into it.
Be keen to hear how it goes. From my experience at work events like that, a lot of people are there because they have to be. You have to be a bit different from what they expect to get them to engage. They don't wanna hear the typical bullshit, "wake up at 4 am, do yoga facing the sun blah blah.
Wow what a week mate! I'm tired just reading about how much you've got going on!!! Do you think sometimes you take on too much? Between the pub, KPMG, alfred and the running club plus a family that's a full on schedule. Hats off for managing it all and finding time to write the blog. Impressive.
I do but I get energy from everything I do outside of the work I'm currently doing at KPMG. Plus the dock and Running 4 Resilience run themselves. But I am making plans to reduce my hours at KPMG so I have more time and energy to grow Alfred. How do you manage everything you have on in a week?
I don't have as much on as you so it's not too hard. I'm generally in charge of my own diary at work so can manage that quite well. I also only have one child (11 months) and no second jobs/side businesses! Feel lazy compared to you!
I love that term "energy givers". I might use that. It reminds me of Susan Cain's book when she talks about activities that fill your tank, or others that drain your tank.
Woweeee! Congratulations on getting through the week Ben! Don't just give yourself a pat on the back, but a hug too!
I read somewhere.... and I've read so many books that I can't remember which book it was. But our brains are naturally wired to focus on the negative as opposed to the positive things happening to us. You've got a great mix of both and all those downs will make you stronger! Honestly like, who can be bothered to take legal action over a name? Clearly the problem is them and not you and they feel threatened in some way. Sometime that helps get me through situations based on someone elses behaviour/reactions is .... it's not about me.
I hope this week is a better one for you :D I appreciate you taking the time out to read and reply.
Wow...so raw. Thanks Ben. It is helpful to read your thinking process as you write. Taking the positives and not just the hard stuff. Focussing on gratitude and also recognising that life throws shit at us a lot of the time, sometimes in bucketfuls all at once.
Thanks Dianna. Will be doing more of just writing my thoughts instead of trying to tell stories. Finding it very rewarding and refreshing to just dump my thoughts on the page.
For what little it may be worth, I really needed to read this! Your definition of 'resilience' really resonates. Instead of looking at the good, we pile on ourselves about what we're not doing well. If you're me, the inner critic then has a field day in cutting me down further. Here's a positive for you - today your words had an impact and made a difference.
Thanks Kim! Yeah, I tried to look at the good and think I was unable to feel any happiness from them because I was just too overwhelmed. But writing yesterday's blog and reading your comment is making me feel much much better. Thanks again!
I’m honoured! The feeling is mutual mate.
Great article too. Always important to acknowledge when things might need to slow down or when the stressors are mounting.
I hope you can take some pride in those wins, though... they read like a bloody good purple patch.
One thing a former boss told me that resonated with me is “it’s never as good as it seems and it’s never as bad as it seems”.
We always seem to lean into which ever way we’re already leaning and that’s great when times are good, but rough times become tougher.
Your former boss sounds like my former coach who always said: "When you lose, you rarely played as bad as you think, and when you win, you rarely played as good as you think".
Not sure why this is, other than we are just poor judges of our own performance because we usually only use emotions and how we feel as the yard stick for evaluating how we went.
Firstly, congrats Breeny on thoroughly deserved recognition of the work you do. Knowing you, the framed piece of paper will mean very little to you, and recognition like this is not your why, nor will it ever become so. But as some prick on the internet said I hope you can take some pride in those wins. It's good to be recognised even if it's not by the intended target.
I also want to echo Breen'y sentiment. Recognition is not all the same. It holds a different amount of weight depending on the source. You've helped me a lot and continue to motivate and inspire me, so when you say a good job it means a bit more. So thanks for the kind words. You needn't thank me though, you've done a lot to me help me, whether you realise it or not.
"I feel like a massive hypocrite talking about it while my battery is flat."- Mate, this is not hypocritical, this is perfect! Lean the fuck into this! You know that you are low on energy because you've implemented a system where you can identify when and why you are so. This literally is Energy Management. A perfect opportunity to walk in and say, "this might not be what you're expecting to hear, but today I don't feel like I have much energy. This is why, this is how I have identified it. However, this, and this is what I'm going to do, in an effort to prevent it from happening again or to minimise the impact similar circumstances in the future will have on me".
Someone who bounces into a room full of beans crapping on about Energy Management isn't believable. People want to hear shit like this from others they can relate to. Other people with real-life dramas. Not some annoying bloke who talks fast and just cruises around telling people what to do in regards to energy. They want to hear from people with lived experience. I'm a regular guy, with a young family, a working wife, and a few things on the go all at once like most of you guys. These are the tools I use to know when I have the energy to do more, or when I have to slow down and renergise". If they leave and implement one of the five (for example) tools you have shared, that's a win.
Anyway, not telling ya what to do, but I think it's a perfect opportunity to lean right into it.
I think we're helping each other out equally mate and will take your advice and "lean the fuck into it".
Be keen to hear how it goes. From my experience at work events like that, a lot of people are there because they have to be. You have to be a bit different from what they expect to get them to engage. They don't wanna hear the typical bullshit, "wake up at 4 am, do yoga facing the sun blah blah.
100% and I’m not about to tell people what to do. Will just share what I do and ask questions that might help them figure out what works for them.
I think that's the key. "This is what I have found works for me, this is how I figured it out".
Take it or leave it, ya dogs.
Don't call them dogs.
Holy dooly - bang on, Sambo.
Wow what a week mate! I'm tired just reading about how much you've got going on!!! Do you think sometimes you take on too much? Between the pub, KPMG, alfred and the running club plus a family that's a full on schedule. Hats off for managing it all and finding time to write the blog. Impressive.
I do but I get energy from everything I do outside of the work I'm currently doing at KPMG. Plus the dock and Running 4 Resilience run themselves. But I am making plans to reduce my hours at KPMG so I have more time and energy to grow Alfred. How do you manage everything you have on in a week?
I don't have as much on as you so it's not too hard. I'm generally in charge of my own diary at work so can manage that quite well. I also only have one child (11 months) and no second jobs/side businesses! Feel lazy compared to you!
I miss being in charge of my own diary
I love that term "energy givers". I might use that. It reminds me of Susan Cain's book when she talks about activities that fill your tank, or others that drain your tank.
Cheers Luke. I do too, and I avoid "energy drainers" like the plague.
Woweeee! Congratulations on getting through the week Ben! Don't just give yourself a pat on the back, but a hug too!
I read somewhere.... and I've read so many books that I can't remember which book it was. But our brains are naturally wired to focus on the negative as opposed to the positive things happening to us. You've got a great mix of both and all those downs will make you stronger! Honestly like, who can be bothered to take legal action over a name? Clearly the problem is them and not you and they feel threatened in some way. Sometime that helps get me through situations based on someone elses behaviour/reactions is .... it's not about me.
I hope this week is a better one for you :D I appreciate you taking the time out to read and reply.
Thanks Clare and I think our natural inclination to focus on negatives is a survival mechanism we evolved with.
Yeah, it's ridiculous. My little start up has nothing to do with them. Not sure why they're wasting their time and money.
This too shall pass on, hope everything will be alright and back to normal soon. Keep the positive attitude high. Congrats to Our Matt, well deserved.
Thanks Dinesh. I think it will pass too. Congrats to our Matt indeed!
Wow...so raw. Thanks Ben. It is helpful to read your thinking process as you write. Taking the positives and not just the hard stuff. Focussing on gratitude and also recognising that life throws shit at us a lot of the time, sometimes in bucketfuls all at once.
Thanks Dianna. Will be doing more of just writing my thoughts instead of trying to tell stories. Finding it very rewarding and refreshing to just dump my thoughts on the page.
Oh mate, that’s a lot to be dealing with all at once. At times like these I used to repeat “when you’re going through hell, just keep going”.
My tips FWIW:
Prioritise the family stuff, as that’s what you’ll most regret if you don’t.
Only concern yourself with stuff you can do something about, and the rest will be what it will be.
Some great outcomes in that list of yours - congratulations!
Thanks Sarah. Great advice. Mine and my family's health always comes first.