Draining Thoughts

How I realised my way of thinking was impacting my wellbeing.

"How many of these do you have, Ben?" my psychologist asked as she handed me this list:

Ruminating ✓
Black-and-white thinking ✓
Comparisons ✓
Negative self-talk ✓

Tick. Tick. Tick.

"All of them," I admitted.

"No wonder you're burned out and depressed."

After the appointment, when I was driving home, I thought, "Thinking like this is such a waste of energy,” and it suddenly became clear why I was obsessed with food, sleep, and exercise.

My thoughts would get so dark whenever I was flat that I did everything I could to avoid feeling tired.

People would think I’m really disciplined. But in reality, I was avoiding dealing with what was draining me: my negative ways of thinking.

How and why I developed these thought patterns is complex and for another post.

But now whenever I catch myself thinking in one of these ways, I think to myself, “Ben, thinking like this is just a waste of energy,” which is helping. I no longer fall apart when I don't eat, sleep, or exercise perfectly.

The same goes when work doesn’t go to plan. I can handle change and uncertainty better, and I think it’s all because I have more energy.

While looking at these thought patterns as energy wastes hasn’t magically made them disappear, it helps me catch myself when I start falling into a negative thought spiral.

I still fall into these spirals sometimes, but now much less frequently, and I’m catching myself earlier each time I do.

If you have any of these thinking patterns, please address them. It may not be obvious, but they're holding you back in some part of your life.

Managing these mental drains will free up your energy to make progress on what truly matters. And I believe that's what life’s all about.

Thanks for reading.