Nobody can identify with someone who seems to have it all together all the time. Your vulnerability and honesty are both very relatable. The reference to energy (positive) rather than weight loss (punishing) is great positioning IMO.
I saw this today https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D499oichQuA and was struck by the simple mantra: just do 3 things a day which, in this farmer's case, was "...something for the farm, something for my mother, something for myself."
You'll be great in the Barossa; we all know it :-)
"It's hard to speak about the things that scare you the most" - so true and what an awesome service Rural Aid sounds like. Really like that quote too, but I would change the order and do something for myself first each day, in the same vein as "putting your oxygen mask on first before helping others".
Thanks again the encouragement Sarah. I really appreciate it.
I think the thing I love the most is how vulnerable you allow yourself to be. Working as a professional athlete is pretty vulnerable in itself, you're constantly in the public eye copping praise and criticism and often you see and hear more criticism than praise of athletes and their performances. In your blog you have taken vulnerability to a whole new level and I love it! Athlete autobiographies and autobiographies in general are some of my favourite books to read, I love hearing the story straight from the source and the vulnerability that comes with it. The more vulnerable people are, the safer others feel to be vulnerable and the more normalised it is to share openly about our experiences. Vulnerability promotes empathy and story sharing promotes understanding. The more we share the more we understand each other which will result in being able to support people more effectively according to their needs.
Thanks Clare and what's help me to write openly in this blog has been the support from yourself and others. Hope you can make the Writing 4 Resilience chat on Thursday. I think you'll really like it.
Sorry to hear about your grandfather mate. I hope hes being looked after and not in too much pain.
"But I need to cut myself some slack as this week I went to Sydney to say goodbye to Grandpa who is slipping away, held down the fort while Jen was away for work, and work has been super frantic, which means I’ve had little energy to prepare for this awesome opportunity."
My psych said something very similar to me yesterday. Moving house, let alone to a new state, starting a new role at work, and having a baby within a month of each other is fucking stupid. Three of the most stress-inducing things you can do in your life, all at one time. But that's just kinda how I do shit. From those stressors rolling into learning how to be parents, having a disrupted routine, my fuckwit dog, and interest rate rises, it's been a cunnova year in terms of stress.
I think this is why it's super important to step back and reflect on things objectively to gain some perspective. When you struggle with self-esteem, you never think anything you do is enough. Once you do something once, you expect that from yourself ongoing. But you don't remove anything else from your life to create room for the new thing you're doing. It sucks but for people like us, I think it's going to take us to remind ourselves to regularly reflect on just how much has been happening and how much we have achieved over a period of time. Just like you suggested I do. It could be as simple as setting aside five minutes to just go back over it in your head, it doesn't always have to be written. Probably a handy tool to develop so you can remind yourself whenever it's getting to you. I think that in it's self is a form of mentally recharging.
Thanks mate. He's in good hands and I'm looking forward to reading your monthly review if you start doing it, and think it's a great way to remind ourselves of everything we've done because as you said, it very easy to get caught in the reeds of life and miss the big picture.
I have it set for the 1st of each month, so I'll probably share it late next week. I'm looking forward to the process of it and hopefully feeling pretty good after.
Authenticity and vulnerability are all you need and what you have in spades. People will want to hear about your experiences, how you got through them, what you learned (and are still learning) I once heard another very high profile sportsman quote that wellbeing and resilience is a discipline and a practice that we have to keep applying, like flexing a muscle. I reckon most consultants can completely relate to how you feel, 'imposter syndrome' is very common in our line of work, where we can easily fall into the trap of assuming we are supposed to have all the answers...and we're not...the goal is knowing how to get to the answers (and help others get the answers), if that makes sense?. You're going to nail it!
Thanks Charley! I do feel confident about it, and have heard the term imposter syndrome been used a bit since joining KPMG. Hard not to feel like it especially as every engagement is different and you never have time to become an "expert" at something. But totally agree that it's not about having the answers, it about being able to find them by asking the right questions.
Even if you're struggling with your energy levels at the moment, the fact that you monitor it and have strategies to improve it means you're way ahead of many people.
Knowing your limits is part of it I reckon, but even if we know them we can't stop life happening and blasting past those limits sometimes.
Wish you all the best with your upcoming presentations and sorry to hear about your grandpa.
Cheers Ben and totally agree that we all need to know where our limits are, but a lot of people don't ever test themselves to find out where their's are. Not sure why.
Hi Ben, recharging my energy levels is all about switching off and sleep. Switching off by watching a movie or similar and then sleeping enough to not feel tired. Much like a gym sessioin or batting in cricket, time to switch off is as valuable as the hard work itself. I think Mark Waugh used to think about horse racing or what he was doing after play during change of overs and in between balls and that seemed to work out well for him. Hard to totally switch off in hospitality but really necessary! All the best for your speaking engagements.
Hey Jem. Getting good sleep is bloody hard in hospo especially if working late nights as I've found thing that helps me most with sleep is to have a consistent bed time. Something that's impossible when I did night shifts at the dock. Never knew that about Mark Waugh, but you can never fully switch on unless you can switch off, and how you do it is a very individual thing. Thanks mate! Looking forward to it.
Nobody can identify with someone who seems to have it all together all the time. Your vulnerability and honesty are both very relatable. The reference to energy (positive) rather than weight loss (punishing) is great positioning IMO.
I saw this today https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D499oichQuA and was struck by the simple mantra: just do 3 things a day which, in this farmer's case, was "...something for the farm, something for my mother, something for myself."
You'll be great in the Barossa; we all know it :-)
"It's hard to speak about the things that scare you the most" - so true and what an awesome service Rural Aid sounds like. Really like that quote too, but I would change the order and do something for myself first each day, in the same vein as "putting your oxygen mask on first before helping others".
Thanks again the encouragement Sarah. I really appreciate it.
Yeah, that's a good point. I love the oxygen mask analogy.
Hi Ben,
I think the thing I love the most is how vulnerable you allow yourself to be. Working as a professional athlete is pretty vulnerable in itself, you're constantly in the public eye copping praise and criticism and often you see and hear more criticism than praise of athletes and their performances. In your blog you have taken vulnerability to a whole new level and I love it! Athlete autobiographies and autobiographies in general are some of my favourite books to read, I love hearing the story straight from the source and the vulnerability that comes with it. The more vulnerable people are, the safer others feel to be vulnerable and the more normalised it is to share openly about our experiences. Vulnerability promotes empathy and story sharing promotes understanding. The more we share the more we understand each other which will result in being able to support people more effectively according to their needs.
Thanks Clare and what's help me to write openly in this blog has been the support from yourself and others. Hope you can make the Writing 4 Resilience chat on Thursday. I think you'll really like it.
Sorry to hear about your grandfather mate. I hope hes being looked after and not in too much pain.
"But I need to cut myself some slack as this week I went to Sydney to say goodbye to Grandpa who is slipping away, held down the fort while Jen was away for work, and work has been super frantic, which means I’ve had little energy to prepare for this awesome opportunity."
My psych said something very similar to me yesterday. Moving house, let alone to a new state, starting a new role at work, and having a baby within a month of each other is fucking stupid. Three of the most stress-inducing things you can do in your life, all at one time. But that's just kinda how I do shit. From those stressors rolling into learning how to be parents, having a disrupted routine, my fuckwit dog, and interest rate rises, it's been a cunnova year in terms of stress.
I think this is why it's super important to step back and reflect on things objectively to gain some perspective. When you struggle with self-esteem, you never think anything you do is enough. Once you do something once, you expect that from yourself ongoing. But you don't remove anything else from your life to create room for the new thing you're doing. It sucks but for people like us, I think it's going to take us to remind ourselves to regularly reflect on just how much has been happening and how much we have achieved over a period of time. Just like you suggested I do. It could be as simple as setting aside five minutes to just go back over it in your head, it doesn't always have to be written. Probably a handy tool to develop so you can remind yourself whenever it's getting to you. I think that in it's self is a form of mentally recharging.
Thanks mate. He's in good hands and I'm looking forward to reading your monthly review if you start doing it, and think it's a great way to remind ourselves of everything we've done because as you said, it very easy to get caught in the reeds of life and miss the big picture.
I have it set for the 1st of each month, so I'll probably share it late next week. I'm looking forward to the process of it and hopefully feeling pretty good after.
Thank you for this blog Ben.
The last week has seen me as long as I've been for a long time. Reading this reminded me of some of the things I need to remember.
Am I perfect now of course not but I feel a million times better than I did 4 days ago.
Having somewhere to remind me that I'm not the only person struggling is important because I forget myself.
Thank you again.
Your welcome Howard. Great to hear your feeling better.
Mate you've helped me fall in love with my food and find balance once again, can't thank you enough.
🥹
Hey Ben,
Authenticity and vulnerability are all you need and what you have in spades. People will want to hear about your experiences, how you got through them, what you learned (and are still learning) I once heard another very high profile sportsman quote that wellbeing and resilience is a discipline and a practice that we have to keep applying, like flexing a muscle. I reckon most consultants can completely relate to how you feel, 'imposter syndrome' is very common in our line of work, where we can easily fall into the trap of assuming we are supposed to have all the answers...and we're not...the goal is knowing how to get to the answers (and help others get the answers), if that makes sense?. You're going to nail it!
Thanks Charley! I do feel confident about it, and have heard the term imposter syndrome been used a bit since joining KPMG. Hard not to feel like it especially as every engagement is different and you never have time to become an "expert" at something. But totally agree that it's not about having the answers, it about being able to find them by asking the right questions.
Even if you're struggling with your energy levels at the moment, the fact that you monitor it and have strategies to improve it means you're way ahead of many people.
Knowing your limits is part of it I reckon, but even if we know them we can't stop life happening and blasting past those limits sometimes.
Wish you all the best with your upcoming presentations and sorry to hear about your grandpa.
Ben
Cheers Ben and totally agree that we all need to know where our limits are, but a lot of people don't ever test themselves to find out where their's are. Not sure why.
Hi Ben, recharging my energy levels is all about switching off and sleep. Switching off by watching a movie or similar and then sleeping enough to not feel tired. Much like a gym sessioin or batting in cricket, time to switch off is as valuable as the hard work itself. I think Mark Waugh used to think about horse racing or what he was doing after play during change of overs and in between balls and that seemed to work out well for him. Hard to totally switch off in hospitality but really necessary! All the best for your speaking engagements.
Hey Jem. Getting good sleep is bloody hard in hospo especially if working late nights as I've found thing that helps me most with sleep is to have a consistent bed time. Something that's impossible when I did night shifts at the dock. Never knew that about Mark Waugh, but you can never fully switch on unless you can switch off, and how you do it is a very individual thing. Thanks mate! Looking forward to it.