Being sick

And what it does to my brain and mental health

Last week wasn’t great.

I was sick for six days, and while the first few days were fine, I noticed my mental health heading south the longer it went.

Nothing serious, but it reminded me just how much my mental state is tied to my energy levels. Not only was my body drained of energy from fighting the bug, but I'd missed out on energy I was planning to get after cancelling some events I was excited for.

I’d also hardly exercised with mates, which is my usual go-to when I feel flat. And the one time I did—a slow parkrun with

Running Rare

followed by coffee—made me feel great.

But that and a late night at the Brumbies meant I overdid it, which set me back and by Sunday, I was sick and irritable again.

And while being grumpy is one thing, I've noticed being tired changes how I think in the following ways:

• I stop being optimistic

• I catastrophise (always think the worst will happen)

• I want the distraction of social media

• I think everyone is against me and that no one understands

• I think in “black or white” and struggle to comprehend nuance

• I feel like a failure

• I think I’m lazy and that I should just try harder

All of which I know aren’t true, and it's just my brain malfunctioning because it doesn’t have the energy it needs to function properly. Like when a car runs out of petrol.

Except where the car just stops, our brains have to keep going, and forms coping mechanisms through ways of thinking that conserve energy so it can push on. A survival mechanism of sorts, and apparently it does this to protect itself from the pain of reality.

A reality that’s often the cause of the energy-draining stress, and something my brain did for me when I first retired.

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My decision to retire was a sudden one, and while it’s good my brain protected me from the pain initially, it made me blind to my mistakes, which slowed my learning and hindered my career transition.

And despite only realising this recently, I’ve been fascinated by energy levels for a while, and will focus on writing about personal energy's impact on brain function and mental health.

I should’ve done this earlier, but I hesitated for fear of people thinking I've gone "woo-woo", as most people who discuss energy do so in terms of star signs and energy crystals.

These do not decide how much energy you have

But this topic is too important, and I’m going to push thru the uncomfortableness of worrying about offending people and caring what others think.

It’s ok if you do believe in energy crystals and star signs etc. But it’s a sign you think your energy levels are outside your control, which is not true.

How much energy we have is in our control, and I'm gonna share my unfiltered thoughts why I think that going forward.

I believe conversations about declining mental health and well-being are being over-complicated, and a straightforward explanation is necessary.

Yes I know it’s nuanced, but fatigued brains struggle to understand complexity, so a simple explanation of the problem is vital.

Looking at depression as a state of low energy helped me tremendously when I was depressed, because it meant I just needed to:

1. Do things that give me energy, and

2. Stop doing things and thinking in ways that were wasting it.

Simple I know, but it worked for me and I apologise in advance if you’re offended by my oversimplification of mental health.

But I need to share what worked for me, as I've overcome a lot of mental health hurdles. And believe anyone can too.

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Thanks for reading. This topic is important to me, and I know there’s lots of things I’m missing and would appreciate you highlighting gaps in my thinking.

Also, huge congrats to everyone who braved the cold and wet on Sunday at the Canberra Marathon Festival! It was the worst conditions I've seen for a race in years, but great to see so many people not let that hold them back from having a crack!