Why is retirement hard? Part 3
The Grand Finale
Athletes face many challenges when they leave the professional sporting environment as they set out on the journey of transitioning to what’s next.
And while no longer exercising with your mates and finding a new environment to thrive in are big challenges, I believe that both of these can be overcome.
But this week’s challenge I reckon could be the toughest.
Finding a purpose that makes you jump out of bed in the morning
and worth struggling for
In an earlier post, I mentioned how I would ‘feel off’ during my end-of-season holiday due to the lack of endorphins my brain would get while I stopped exercising.
And while I believe that to be true, there was something else.
During the quiet periods of each year (usually during school holidays) I would think about the fact that one day my life will end.
Without a goal or purpose during those times, my mind would wander and it would lead me to be “busy” by filling the day with tasks.
Now I realise that my mind was only like that during those times because it was lacking meaning, purpose, and direction.
But when I had a goal to work towards, I felt great. And professional sport was a career that provided an endless amount of goals.
Win the match this weekend.
Win the title this year.
Goals as far as the eye could see, and I loved it.
Influences
It takes a shit load of energy to make a career transition and but finding which direction to channel your energy towards can be tough.
But I have many teammates who have found careers and missions that “scratch them where they itch” in similar ways that Rugby did.
During the final years of my career, I was lucky to have many coffees with recently retired teammate Clyde Rathbone to discuss retirement and his current mission of improving the quality of conversation with his website ‘Letter’.
And I’ve always admired how Dave Pocock has gone about his work combating climate change with perhaps greater dedication than he did while forcing penalties at the ruck.
But the person who has helped me most to find purpose in retirement has been my Dad and his work in the field of Paediatric Genetics.
A terrific role model and someone who has dedicated his life to improving the lives of families with sick children.
And while I could fault Dad for not getting out of bed in the morning to go and exercise, I could never say the same about his commitment to his work.
No matter how tired he is, he keeps getting up to help the world better understand how we can save sick children with rare genetic diseases.
I’m so proud of him, but he has set a high bar as I try to find my own unique way to help improve the lives of others.
Nerd Alert!
While the decision to retire was tough, I was very fortunate that I was clear in my mind what I wanted to do.
For as long as I can remember I’ve loved technology, and I remember sneaking into Dad’s study to play games on his Macintosh as a child.
I love how computers can be used as extensions of our brain as we outsource the brainpower required for boring tasks, and how they help us to get stuff done.
And I’ve always felt drawn to them like I was drawn to Rugby.
But it never crossed my mind to learn how they worked, as I always thought it was beyond what I was capable of.
However, once I realised that the tools for making things with computers are getting easier to use, I thought I should give it a go and try to build tools that can improve the lives of others.
And while learning some of the necessary skills has still been tough (like sitting at a desk for a long time), it’s been very rewarding and absolutely worth the struggle.
“Shit… I’ve got small people that depend on me now”
I never thought about what I’d do after Rugby until the birth of my twin daughters forced me to start thinking about what I would do next.
But while starting again is a challenge, I view it as the dawn of a new beginning. The start of a new season.
And even though I may have lost the first couple of matches, I’m starting to string a few wins together.
Starting to build momentum as I head into the tougher matches that lay ahead.
Wish me luck!
Great friends and family around you Ben. Good luck with everything you do mate.
Thanks for writing this blog Ben. As you know, I don't read it because I'm looking for what's next but to help me understand the needs of those who are looking for what's next. Your insights are really helpful to me.