Why is retirement hard? Part 2
Firstly, I want to thank everyone who reached out after my last post.
I was apprehensive about sharing my struggles in retirement but I thought that if sharing my experience could help one person, then I should.
And the response I got taught me that I’m not alone in my struggles and what I’m going through is very normal for anyone transitioning careers.
Thank you.
In the last post, I wrote about how I believe no longer “exercising with your mates every day” is one of the biggest challenges athletes face in retirement.
But another challenge I’ve had was realising that if I want to have the same level of satisfaction from what I’ve chosen to pursue next, I’m going to have to work bloody hard… maybe harder.
On top of that, I’ve had to find somewhere to do all this work and someone to do the work with.
Starting again from scratch…
and finding a new environment
After putting so much time and energy into my footy, the thought of starting a career from scratch was very daunting.
It took me years of training and playing before I was good enough to make a career from Rugby, and do I have the energy to do that all over again?
Or at such a young age, are the best days of my working life already behind me?
Early in my career, I got very lucky that I found my way into an environment where I thrived.
And I have no doubt that if it wasn’t for the Brumbies, my life would have headed down a very different (perhaps dark) path.
When I was 20, I was a mess.
I was broke, failing uni, and constantly rocking up to training and work hungover AF.
The wheels of my wagon had fallen off so badly that then Brumbies academy manager Bill Swain threatened to kick me out of the academy for being overweight, unfit, and uncommitted.
But despite my lack of dedication, I loved being apart of the academy, and the thought of being booted out scared me straight.
Then after another stern talk (this time from my parents), I decided to pull my socks up, get fit, and the rest is history.
And my story is not unique, as player after player would enter the Brumbies environment, and leave as a better player and person.
Rory Arnold and Scott Fardy are also both proof that all you need is a sniff of an opportunity in the right environment to help bring the best of out you.
Prior to coming to the Brumbies, Fards was hardly allowed to hold a pad at training as he just “made up the numbers” while at the Western Force, and would probably admit to having a few too many pints of loud-mouth-soup away from the training paddock.
But after a few years in the Brumbies environment, he improved so much that he would play a leading role in the Wallabies charge to the 2015 Rugby World Cup final, as he played with the guts and determination that made every Wallaby fan proud as punch.
Rory also had an amazing transformation during his time at the Brumbies.
Early on during a team bonding session, I remember Rory taking his shirt off, slouching in his chair, patting his stomach and announcing:
“LOOK AT ME… I’m a mess!!!”
And indeed he was.
He’d joined the Brumbies injured and unfit, but left as the Brumbies best and a regular in the Wallabies starting forward pack when he signed with European powerhouse, Toulouse.
It was incredibly rewarding being in an environment full of talented people, working super hard towards a common goal.
And one of the hardest things for me in retirement has been trying to find a new environment where I’m going to thrive at what I’ve chosen to do next.
I use to think about environments only in terms of its physical aspects.
Does it have new facilities? Good coffee machine? Comfy couches? Plenty of plants etc.
But now I realize that it’s the people and the culture they create is what really makes the right environment so special to be apart of.
From the coaches I learned off, to the teammates who did their role so well that made it easy for me to do mine, finding new teammates and a new coach has been hard.
Only recently do I believe I’ve found a coach and some teammates who want to get to same place that I want to go.
And while finding the right environment will significantly increase my odds of success, it certainly won’t guarantee it. The hard work still needs to be done.
Thanks for reading this far.
I hope you're enjoying reading these blogs as much as I’ve been enjoying writing them and if there’s anything you’d like for me to write about in the future, please comment below.
Cheers!
Great read. The other issue is the immediate loss of status from being at the top in one environment then starting from the bottom in the next. Moving through that transition adds to the burden but once navigated mentally gives you the confidence to keep going.
Great work Ben.
Everyone relates to the message.
Missing Fards handing out some free lessons still.
Keep up the great work.