🏉 If I could have my career over again

"Do these 6 things Ben and you'll do just fine"

Oct 05, 2021

4 wins on the trot and all these comebacks have got me pumped, and I’d be lying if I said the thought of putting the boots back on hadn’t crossed my mind.

First Andrew Kellaway, then Quade Cooper, and now Greg Holmes! Plus the addition of Sean McMahon (and potentially Will Skelton) is making the Wallabies future look brighter by the day.

But then I think of the aches and pains from training, and any excitement is quickly extinguished.

I’m glad I retired when I did, but it’s given me ample time to reflect on what I’d do differently if I was to have my career over again, and if I could chat to a young Ben Alexander in 2007, here’s the 6 things I’d say:

1 - See online criticism as a privilege

Dealing with this was the hardest lesson to learn, and one I see a lot of athletes struggle with today.

Reading online criticism whether we won or lost was really tough, but it taught me that I was doing meant something, and if I wanted to avoid negative comments altogether, then I should go play in a cow paddock with no one watching.

I wish I learned that it’s just part of being in the public arena earlier, and it’s a lesson I’ve had to relearn with the Dock, and again with Alfred.

While most reviews and comments have been great, I’ve learned to not over-focus on negative ones and realised that there just part of the improvement process, and now I see negative comments as an opportunity to learn.

Sports fans and customers have every right to express their opinions, especially if they're frustrated, but I wasted too much energy worrying about what they thought, and believe I allowed it to hold me back from reaching my full potential.

2 - Never forget that it’s just a game

This ties to the above point and something Quade talked about following his match-winning kick vs South Africa, and how Rugby is now just a small part of his life.

I loved playing Rugby and representing Australia, but I allowed it to consume my identity and was so focused on being “Ben the rugby player” that I would beat myself up when I didn’t play perfectly.

Had I not lost sight of the fact that it’s just a game, I believe I would have played with more freedom in the big moments and been more resilient, which would have helped me to bounce back quicker from tough defeats.

3 - Track your sleep

This may sound odd, but I love tracking my sleep and was introduced to it during a study the Brumbies did with the Australian Institute of Sport (AIS).

Despite being known as a good sleeper, I’ve realised that I was actually a terrible sleeper, and would need 10hrs+ in bed (plus a nap during the day) to feel recharged.

But since buying an Oura ring, I’ve learned so much about sleep and my habits that impact it, that I now sleep better than ever despite having 3 young kids.

I knew about the importance of a regular bedtime, and how alcohol and caffeine impact sleep, but I never knew how eating close to bedtime can reduce sleep quality, and was shocked when my ring called me out on a late-night trip to the fridge! (Above left)

I wished I slept better during my career (especially on away trips) and believe it would have helped me think clearer, stay calmer, and have more energy to train well.

But more on sleep next week.

4 - Keep a journal

Doing this blog has shown me how writing helps organise the mind and sharpen focus, and I recently saw an interview with Richie McCaw and Dan Carter where they explained how they both journaled thru out their careers, and credit it as a major key to their success.

Both said their journals helped them be clear about what they wanted from Rugby, with McCaw writing that he wanted to be a “GAB” (Great All Black) regularly.

Carter said he often wrote about his pre-match nerves and what he wanted his first involvement to be, as a way to settle him into the big games and steer his side to victory.

I never journaled while I was playing, but since realising my struggles with my career transition have been from a lack of focus (not effort), I started journaling and haven’t missed a day since.

5 - Track your food earlier

I’ve written in the past about how Rugby became more enjoyable once I got out of fat club, and what helped me most was being mindful (not obsessive) about what I ate, and if I was to ever become a coach, helping my players understand their own eating and sleeping habits would be the first thing I’d do.

And as a wise man named Dean Benton once told me: “Benny, if you get your eating and sleeping sorted, your training will take care of itself”.

6 - Don’t try too hard

I prided myself on having a high work rate, but I would often run around like a headless chook, get tired, and make more mistakes as a result.

Contrast how I played with George Smith, who I could outrun every day of the week, but still didn't hold a candle to him on game day.

Miffy was notorious for doing terribly during fitness testing, yet was the best player I’ve ever seen, and I put that down to his ability to read the game and how he used his energy wisely.

He rarely contested dead rucks, but when he sniffed a chance, he’d pounce to force a penalty or steal the ball, which would swing the momentum of the game our way.

He also always made the right choice with the ball in hand, and I think it’s all because he wasn’t trying too hard.

And because of that, he read the game well and always put himself in a position to influence the outcome in a similar way to the famous Wayne Gretzky quote:

“I skate to where the puck is going to be, not where it has been.”

Not to mention he was a bloody legend of a bloke, and there’s so much about how Miff played the game that I think is applicable to all sports, parenting and work.

But I’m so grateful that I got to have the career that I had. I’ve just found reflecting on what I could have done better to be useful as I enter the next chapter of my working life, and hopefully writing this can help some up-and-coming players avoid the mistakes I made.

Takeaways:

See online criticism as a privilege
Never forget that it’s just a game
Track your sleep
Keep a journal
Track your food
Don’t try too hard

Thanks to everyone who read and shared last Monday’s post.

I hate to bring up politics here but felt more people had to speak up in order to get the government to act, and I hope to see you all for a beer at the Dock soon!

Energy

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