How running with a mate stopped 10 years of ruminating

Thank you Breeny

Welcome to all the new subscribers. If you're expecting literary genius or anything insightful, you'll be disappointed. This blog just a place where I dump my thoughts, usually about stuff (and people) that gives me energy.

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I retired thinking I'd be remembered for getting sent off against the Lions.

I felt I let my country down, for nearly 10 years, I felt defined by it.

Hundreds of millions of rugby fans from around the world watched the game, and to play in a Lions series was a dream come true. 

I’d even planned to propose to my girlfriend after we won. 

But it all went pear-shaped as we were blown away in the decider, after two tight games.

I went from feeling the proudest I’d ever been, to the most humiliated, all within 80 minutes, and it was the hardest experience I’ve ever had to process. 

And what made things worse was that I didn’t talk to anyone about it, and from that moment on, I never enjoyed my rugby again.

Instead of talking about the disappointment of missing once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, I ruminated about what I could have done better for years. 

The loss even crossed my mind on the morning of my wedding day, as I thought that’s how I and my rugby career would be remembered.

But one morning while running with Breeny at

Running for Resilience

, I realised I was being ridiculous.

We were mid-run when the game came up. 

We’d been talking about other big games, when he mentioned he watched the Lions decider from a bar overseas.

Then I started opening up about how I felt, but quickly realised he hardly remembers much about it.

And that made me realise that no one else is still thinking about it. 

Certainly not my family or friends, or even Brumbies fans. And they certainly don’t judge me for it.

Maybe a few people in the UK that I’ll never meet might remember me for it (And yes, I still wish we'd won that series). 

But none of that matters now.

And what does is that for the first time, I talked about it, which started the process of me getting over it, and that made me realise how powerful combining exercise and friendship can be for dealing with life’s challenges.

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Running for Resilience

was started to make it easier to exercise with friends because we think that saves lives. 

I’d been wasting so much energy going around in circles mentally for nearly 10 years, assuming that constantly thinking about such a big loss was normal.

But that morning with Breeny changed my life, as there’s something about running with a good mate that helped me finally start talking. 

Me, Breeny and his dog ‘Mate’

Catching up with a friend for a coffee is good. 

But I reckon doing some exercise together before makes it easier to talk about what’s really on your mind. 

You’re feeling great from the endorphins, which makes it easier to speak about something painful. 

Plus it’s easier to hear someone else out too.

Thanks for reading. I hope you’re as lucky as I am and have a mate to exercise with. 

Thank you Breeny.