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Clare Carey's avatar

I need to read other comments and comment properly tomorrow. But GREAT post. Ive been learning a lot about mental health "disorders" and there is probably a post coming about it because, I disagree with the labelling of them and the diagnosing of them.

But here's part of what annoyed me in my content this week which is relatable to your topic of expectations.

"Personality disorders: A personality disorder is an enduring pattern of inner experience, and behaviour that deviates markedly from the expectations of the individuals culture, is pervasive, inflexible, has onset in adolescence or early adulthood, is stable over time and leads to distress and impairment".

Expectations by who? And what? And why!? From my learnings "personality disorders" are a result from childhood abuse/maltreatment, trauma/past experiences..... someone who has lived through adversity and to put the icing on the cake, we give them the label of borderline personality disorder due to their maladaptive behaviour. *rant over*

In summary, expectation has a lot to answer for.

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Matt McILraith's avatar

I asked Reuben Thorne once, while he was All Black captain and copping heaps of unfair sh*t about how he was 'handling' it and he said he wasn't. Not because he wasn't aware of it but to him it was always about the next job. Not what the media were saying, nor the critics, it was just about what was the best thing for the team. Is why he is so widely admired and probably the most underrated leader of the pro Era given he lead a crusaders team in 2002 that is still the only side to have won every game of a full super rugby season and then, a year later, led the All Black side which reclaimed the Bledisloe after a 5 year absence. And in true Reuben style, his next 'job' was to ask me how I was doing given I was All Black media manager and was having to deal directly with all the critics! I learnt a lot that day from a bloke whom I don't think ever realized just how much he inspired others around him just by being himself, living in the moment and focusing on the next job!

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