Being hard on myself

How it blinded me from my strengths

Nov 28, 2023

Welcome to all the new subscribers!

Last week I realised: “I’ve been way too hard on myself.”

I’m reading a well-being book and the author (psychologist Martin Seligiman) said one of the exercises he does with his depressed clients is to get them to write down their strengths.

I’m not depressed, but I was 2 years ago and thought I’d give it a crack. How hard could it be?

But when I went to write them down, I couldn’t think of a single one, and just stared at the page.

A contemplative scene featuring a retired rugby player, resembling Ben Alexander, sitting thoughtfully at a desk. The desk is surrounded by rugby memorabilia, capturing the essence of his past career. He is looking introspectively at a blank page in a notebook, symbolizing a moment of self-reflection. Outside the window beside him, there's a serene outdoor scene, representing introspection and self-discovery. The room exudes a calm and reflective atmosphere, emphasizing themes like honesty, passion, authenticity, leadership evolution, receptiveness to feedback, motivation through progress, and resilience. The mood is a blend of introspection, realization, and newfound self-appreciation.

I knew I had some, but all I could think of were weaknesses, which was a shock and a sign I’d been too hard on myself.

I think it’s great I want to improve and get better at stuff.

But the fact I’ve never stopped to reflect on what I’m good at is not healthy.

And if I can’t even identify them, how on earth am I going to find ways to put myself in situations where I can use them?

My Strengths

So anyway, I finally figured out what mine where thanks to some prompting from ChatGPT, and it helped me identify the following strengths:

Honesty, Passion, and Authenticity: Your ability to convey your dedication and beliefs effectively, especially in high-pressure situations like international rugby matches, is a significant strength. These traits not only inspire others but also show your commitment to your values.
Leadership Evolution: You've transitioned from being an early follower to a leader, indicating adaptability and growth. Your willingness to step up and lead, especially when no one else is moving in the direction you believe in, is a strong leadership quality.
Receptiveness to Feedback: Your ability to listen and take on board feedback, even when it's critical, is invaluable. It shows a growth mindset and a commitment to continuous improvement.
Motivation through Progress: Finding energy spikes in making progress and helping others indicates a strong alignment with your mission. It also suggests that you are driven by results and the success of others, a trait that's crucial in both leadership and coaching.
Resilience and Belief in Vision: Your ability to maintain belief in your vision, especially during challenging times, shows remarkable resilience. This trait is essential for enduring the ups and downs of entrepreneurial and athletic careers.

Reading all this made me feel good about myself, and ChatGPT helped me figure that out by asking me to reflect on moments when I felt proud.

And to be honest, I’ve been feeling pretty good about myself ever since.

Now to find ways to use these strengths more… and be kinder to myself along the way!

What are your strengths?

Energy

Discussion about this post