Answers

Why am I still transitioning careers and what do I want?

Recently, I shared how some big questions surfaced while on a jet lag run.

It was early into the trip, and for the rest of it, I spent time each day reflecting on them.

Below are my answers and I’m sharing them to keep myself accountable in the hope you, as readers and friends, can pull me up if you see me acting out of alignment with them.

What do I want from the rest of my life?

• I want to raise three honest and resilient daughters. And the best way I know to do that is to lead by example. Monkey see, monkey do.

• I want to keep having an incredible marriage. To do that, Jen and I agree we both need to keep growing as individuals. We believe every time we become better versions of ourselves, we fall in love all over again—a cycle we enjoy, but need to maintain.

• I want to do meaningful work, which I define as feeling the energy and time I put into work is worthwhile. And I believe Alfred’s mission of helping people to have more energy is 100% worth it.

• Have no regrets. I want to grow old knowing I gave everything a red-hot go. I rest easy knowing I did this with my rugby. But in retirement, I have some regrets about mistakes I’ve made. Luckily, I’ve got time to learn from them and make amends.

Why am I doing Alfred?

• Because I’ve suffered from exhaustion, burnout and low self-esteem many times which has impacted my mental health. But I’ve learned it’s because of my habits and how I think.

• Because I believe what I'm trying to do is really meaningful, as I need a career that’s more meaningful than playing professional sport was exciting. Just a little bit meaningful won't cut it, and I can't think of anything more meaningful than helping people with their physical and mental health.

• Because I think many people are unnecessarily struggling, simply because they aren't focusing on the basics—sleep and nutrition. When they do, they'll have enough energy to train hard, do work they're proud of, and their confidence will rise.

• I believe I can do it because of what I’ve learned about caring for my body during my sports career, and about caring for my mind in retirement.

• I also need to prove to myself that I can lead a team. I was never a captain but played under and learned from many great ones. Now I feel I’m ready.

• I haven’t found another team in Canberra doing what I want to do. So, I have to create one and lead it, at least for now.

From using my body to using my brain

Why am I still transitioning careers?

• I underestimated how hard starting a new career is, especially going from a career that relied on my body to one that relies on my mind.

• I have serious focus issues. My brain keeps looking for an easier path to get a hit of dopamine or excitement and avoids boring tasks or ones that require a lot of thinking.

• I lacked the skills to run a business. But I’ll learn these skills quicker if I can focus better.

• I tend to focus on others more than myself. Some would say this is a good trait, but I do it mostly for praise and as a distraction from focusing on my issues. If I want to truly help others, it needs to be through actions and sort my shit out first.

What habits do I need to change?

• Anything that impacts my focus - mainly my relationship with food and my phone.

  • Food: I need to eat solely to fuel myself, not to soothe boredom or stress. (Shoutout to

    Sam Wilson
    for inspiring me to face up to this)

  • Phone: I consume too much content, which clutters my mind and affects my focus. I need to be around my phone less.

• Get better sleep more consistently - Sleep also impacts my focus and how well I deal with stress. You might think I already sleep amazing based on the nights of sleep I share. But I’m like a problem gambler who only shares when he wins. I have lots of rough nights, and while I’m sleeping an hour more per night than when I started tracking my sleep, resting more will give my brain the energy it needs when the time comes to do great work.

• Write more, share less - Writing helps me think and improves my focus by forcing me to keep a continuous train of thought. But I currently do most of my writing when preparing a blog, and not everything I write is worth sharing. So I need to write more just for me an for the last week, I’ve written 1 page per day. I will still share when I want help with accountability or I’m confident what I’ve written will help others.

• Say no and do less - Committing to too many things spreads me thin and causes stress. So unless I'm super excited about the request, I have to say no, as I only have so much energy. Energy I need to channel into the 4 answers from the first question.

So, that’s all great in theory Ben. But following through will be tough. Being honest and resilient is hard, let alone raising honest and resilient kids. Having a meaningful career won't be easy, as great careers don't just fall into people's laps. And continually becoming a better version of myself will be incredibly hard, as it's easy to become set in your ways and adopt a victim mindset.

But at least my eyes are open to how hard doing everything above will be, and I know that the only way I'm going to achieve the above is to have the energy to do the work.

---

Thanks for reading and for the kind messages after yesterday’s video post. Feeling much better today after a great sleep, and think I was just suffereing from the “5-day post-holiday blues”.

Also, apologies to any paid subscribers who were inadvertently charged last week. The paid subscription has been paused indefinitely, and anyone affected will be reimbursed.