And just like that, itās been 2 years since I started writing and I canāt thank you enough for your patience and support while I learned how to write, and discovered what to write about.
After a bumpy start, Iām finally finding my groove, and hearing from other writers about how āfocusing on being consistentā is what helped them most, has been a great advice.
But despite knowing that consistency is key to achieving anything great, pressing the āPublishā button each week has been really hard.
The perfectionist in me wants to do an amazing job, and Iāve been guilty of trying to write a Lord of the Rings Trilogy each week, which was stressing me out and making it hard to be consistent. (Note to self: stress kills consistency).
But now that Iāve dealt with what was causing my stress, Iāve put boundaries around how long I can write for, which helps me focus and prevents my writing from eating into other parts of my life, like it did with Alfred.
And to celebrate Benās Blog 2nd birthday, Iāve decided to rename it to something that better reflects what Iām writing about, and Iām proud to announce that itās now called:
Struggling.
Even though I could feel it, writing about my journey has made me realise just how much I was struggling, and that Iād been unhappy for nearly a decade.
But Iāve also learned that itās ok, and that struggling is a natural and necessary part of life.
It means what Iām trying to do is hard, and my struggle has come from trying to build another career thatās as fulfilling as playing sport for my territory and country was. And do it while supporting a young family.
Iāve also been blown away by all the private messages from people saying theyāre struggling too- whether it be from burnout or depression, and trying to help people understand that itās ok, and that good will come from their struggles is what this blog is all about.
But I donāt want to struggle forever, and I hope one day to change this blogās name again, but this time to: Thriving.
What to expect from Struggling going forward?
Over the coming months, Iām going to interview the people whoāve had a big impact of my life, while continuing to share stories from my playing days, my career transition, and more.
Plus weāll also have a discussion each Friday (usually Rugby related), and Iām keen to hear your opinion, to help me make more informed and thoughtful contributions to Brumbies board meetings. Oh and weāll start doing a monthly Q&A session too.
Decider here we come!
Despite the result, last Saturday night was special for me as I was able to take my girls to their first Wallabies match, and attend my second test since I played my last against England almost 8 years ago.
The atmosphere and pregame entertainment was incredible, and chatting to someone who was at a luncheon the day before had the chance to hear Eddie Jones speak.
āWeāre going to start wellā Eddie said, and boy was he right! But the loss sets up a historic decider at the SCG, and I canāt bloody wait!
Also on the weekend, I made the pilgrimage to the holy grail of Australian parkrun- the Main Beach course on the Gold Coast, which has been held weekly since 2011.
parkrun helps fill the hole in my weekendās that retiring from Rugby has left, and Iāll be forever grateful to me old my Grift for dragging me along to my first run.
Thanks mate.
"Iāve also been blown away by all the private messages from people saying theyāre struggling too- whether it be from burnout or depression, and trying to help people understand that itās ok, and that good will come from their struggles is what this blog is all about."
THIS BIT
Great stuff mate many years and blogs to come!!